To my past self
A few days ago, I received a FutureMe message that I sent to myself 10 years ago. I've received a few before, but this is the first time I've felt like responding.
The following is a letter from December 27, 2015, delivered from the past by FutureMe
Dear Future Christine,
Hahahaha ..do you STILL have your @msn email? That's pretty funny if you do, but if you don't..don't worry, I'm sending this message to your other email as well. I've got you covered, as always ;) wait, does email still exist anymore? I wrote this 10 years ago and things are moving pretty fast technologically. But it seems like things are moving backwards socially. The US is having tension over race, save spaces (lol) and gender. Really? Yeah..really. Not much advancement there unfortunately. Everything is really extreme. There needs to be balance. Balance I say! Anyways ...things you're currently working on right now ..meditation, math, writing, and starting an online business. Also working a seasonal job at Operator to get some money. Money's tough. The world today is tough too. Environment is unhealthy. There's a gas leak in LA right now that's been going on for months and will keep going on until they fix it. Pretty shitty huh. You're also probably going to get gentrified from your apartment. But don't worry, I have it under control. Kind of ..uhh not really but whatever, I'll find a way. I currently don't know what career I want to pursue. I'm tired of all this bullshit about finding my passion and shit like that. I have a lot of passions. Hopefully you have things figured out by now. And you have better mindfulness, like a jeti. Hopefully you've done some cool shit and traveled the world by now. If you haven't, well...then I'm so disappointed in you! But I know you won't let me down. Not that you'd care about your past self will think because well it's me and you're better hahahah. I'm currently writing this on my phone sitting at our parents house on the sofa. Oh! STAY HEALTHY. Your body and mind is everything. Take care of it THE BEST YOU CAN. Some other things ...you made steak yesterday for the first time for peters bday and dad had some. He liked it I think. Good job! dad is hard to please lol. And he likes to cook soo I was pretty afraid of letting him down haha. Peter, Johnny, and Ben got you a Xmas present. Hopefully you're not broke every Christmas anymore. You know, when I was a teen I thought I'd have things more figured it by now ...but ...I don't ...lol. Well, that's it for now. Don't like getting to personal on a public platform. Cause privacy doesn't exist anymore lol.
My response from Dec 29th, 2025.
Dear past self,
Yes, I still have the @msn email, lol! I've been phasing it out, but it's still attached to my Facebook. And yes, I still have my Facebook. I know, privacy! We're supposed to get rid of it! But I kept it because it's still useful for some things like the marketplace.
Anyways, it was nice to hear from you. What a surprise! I had totally forgotten that I wrote this letter. You sounded happy, and intense lol. We're not that intense anymore. We've mellowed out a bit. The memory of dad liking steak made me smile. He kept being hard to please :) or maybe we just have that perception because we've always been a little intimidated by him. All the way to the end. Yeah, he's not around anymore. He passed away recently. It was the hardest thing I've gone through. Everything we've gone through and everything you're about to go through up to the point dad dies..well, it pales in comparison. Grief is...something else. It's hard to explain. It's a whole new experience that has tons of layers and goes so deep like there's no ending. It was a surprise. I never thought we would lose dad so 'young'. You'll have to go through it but you'll be okay.
I'm not always broke anymore. Thank goodness. Being actually broke sucked, didn't it? I don't worry about money that much anymore, isn't that cool?? I do worry about being broke again. That something will happen and then I'm that broke again. It's scary. But, we're in a good place financially now. We've gone a long ways :) I'm about 70% out of the scarcity mindset now. I know that was really holding us back. Oh, but we did get gentrified from our apartment. The rent increase was too much and we couldn't afford it back then.
I forgot that I was working on math. That didn't get so far. I should pick it up again. I do have better mindfulness now. It's something we kept working on because it was something we were weak in, and honestly, we didn't have someone to guide us in that. You didn't get far on the online business, sadly. I think it's because of the scarcity mindset. And we needed to build financial security first. It's hard to have the capacity to start a business when we're not financially secured. There's no room for risk and failing. We didn't have a safety net back then. But don't worry, I'm working on our safety net so we can have room for risk.
I've also lived in the Netherlands for 3.5 years! So while I didn't travel the world, I did travel part of it, so don't be so disappointed :) I'm also staying healthy the best I can.
The world is not that different from 10 years ago, and at the same time, it's really different. Oh, safe spaces are still a thing. And honestly, I've gotten around to like it. I know it sounded so silly back then. The world is not as different as you thought it would be. I think it's the same as you described, technologically there's a lot of advancements but socially, no.
We don't have things figured out yet, but we're a lot better off than 10 years ago. (Except that dad's not here anymore.)
Anyways, it's weird talking to myself. It's kind of like talking to a little sister. Bye!